To do list

I've always been one for lists. If you don't have a list, you keep on missing out on really important things you need to do. Monica thinks it's funny, my obsession with putting it all down on paper. But she is totally disorganised and if I left it up to Monica, we'd be living in chaos. Instead of which we are only living in a bit of chaos, though I prefer to describe it as fractured order.
My current list, well actually, the main list, is full of things we need to do to the house. Since arriving here, one or two things have become clear. It's a bit disappointing actually. The Donalds left the place in a real mess. We have to get the electrics sorted out before the house burns down and there is a mysterious smell somewhere by the pool. They didn't tell us where the septic tank was and I very much hope that the smell by the pool has nothing to do with the drains. When we bought the house, the notaire said, or at least this is what I understood him to say, that the fosse septic was not "aux normes". I don't really know what this means, but all I can say is that when you flush the loo, it all disappears without even a gurgle. In my book, that means it's probably okay for the next hundred years.
The roof needs a bit of attention. There are a few buckets up in the "combles" but apparently that's normal in rural France. You can certainly see a bit of daylight here and there, but no huge holes. It'll do for now. Most of the windows leak like sieves and on the west side, there's a bit of rot. But I must never forget we got the house if not quite for a song, at least for a bit of a gentle humming. The Donalds being strapped for cash were in no position to argue. Thank you, Desmond.
The other thing on the list is tools. DIY has never really been my thing, but I'll have to get going if we're not to be fleeced by the local artisans. Of course, we'd like to spread the money about a bit, but I've read frightful stories on the internet about your average French worker. Gaston turns up when he wants to, takes months to do the job, then sticks you with a bill as if he'd rebuilt the house. We'll have to use them for the major things, but little bits of DIY here and there I 'm sure I can cope with. Monica's going to wield the paint brush so I'll have to get out the black and decker. Seems only fair.